It's not really incest.

I hate walking behind people when going up the stairs of the MUNI station. I hate being behind people on escalators as well. No one really gets it. No one really gets my friend Chris either.

I do.

His girlfriend lets him go to strip clubs and get lap dances. She even lets him get on stage. Sometimes the bouncers get in his grill. When he gets kicked out of the clubs, she lets him go to the park and eat 5 dollar hot dogs.

One time over a meal of red beans and rice, biscuits, and fried chicken, Chris and I figured out how to be our own Grandfather's. It's simple. All we have to do is marry each other's Moms' (process explained at end). My mom has Stage 4 Lung Cancer though. She doesn't smoke.

When I walk behind people on stairs I want to push them down and jump on their heads. As I land on each head I want to hear the Mario-jumping-on-Goombas-sound play over the PA system. Some of them will drop coins. It's only fair. If not the PA system, maybe Chris can hold a boombox and play the same sound.

Chris hates his job. I hate these people. I don't know any of them. Wow... That girl's pretty.

Mom told me to be happy. Mom wants me to be happy.

I made it to work without jumping on anyone. That probably makes Mom happy.

Step by step process on how to be your own Grandfather (w/pictures):

1. First I marry Chris' mom. Thus becoming his dad.
2. Chris marry's my mom. Thus becoming my dad.
3. Now here's the tricky part. If I am Chris' dad and his son, and he is also my Dad and my son - the family tree looks like this: Me, Chris, Me, Chris, Me, Chris, Me, and so on. Resulting in me becoming my own Grandfather, and Chris being his own Grandfather.
4. Done