But he started it!

The kid said something to me that I did not appreciate.
I hadn't forgotten.

So when the opportunity arose, I snuck up behind him: told him that his voice turned me on - and then I slit his throat. I silently laughed to myself. I accidentally laughed aloud. Whoops.

As I round the corner, I see another guy I had words with and shoot him in both knees. I stand over him. I contemplate letting him bleed out, to die a slow, sober, and boring death, but my knife... it beckons. Like a mosquito, I draw blood slowly, and frequently, from this man who questioned the integrity of my clan. Stab.

Stab.

STAB!

With each victim, and with each grudge settled, new planes of ecstacy are felt. Bombs rain from the sky, and bullets tear through limbs and vital organs of my enemies. Bullying the weak. Empowering.

The world fades to black...

I look up and it's 10:30, so I decide to turn off my X-Box. I figured it was time to go to bed. Or at least to play my Game Boy.

While showering in my blue, Nike, swim shorts, I ransacked my brain in an attempt to gain a better comprehension of the English language. For I wanted to explain to a girl how I truly felt about her. Unable to mix the perfect letters, to sculpt the perfect sentences, to convey that which is in my imperfect heart.

I turn to the language of love... 1337 sp3ak.

In short: g0d used pWn8ge haX0rZ when He made U!!!!!1111!!!!!eleven!